Too Busy to Decorate

The last two weeks have been extremely busy for me. Is there anyone who approaches Ramadan without a busy schedule, I wonder?

Anyway, both weekends were completely full (one with an Al-Maghrib seminar, and one with a tiny vacation with my husband), plus I had a number of additional appointments scheduled to wrap up the first phase of a health/nutrition program I'm participating in. Then a get-together with a friend, which ended up laying me out for the rest of the day. Then volunteering to teach a short halaqah (which became two), and then a last-minute birthday party too!

Even as my son kept asking when we would decorate for Ramadan!

There was always something I needed to do first--including cleaning the house, which itself felt more of a Sisyphean effort. Tonight, at last, it was time. Never mind that Ramadan officially started at maghrib today. While my husband took my son to the masjid to pray, I returned from another masjid and was able to quickly declutter my living room enough to prepare for decorations.

And sure, we were up a bit late. And the decorations aren't anything particularly special. But my son was excited to pull out these decorations (especially the lights.) He was excited for days, and already associated the coming of Ramadan with setting up the decorations. While it seemed to me a minor (and sure, slightly tedious) task, it served as a memorable tradition and a few moments (maybe an hour?) of delight. That made it all worth it. 

Why I Say Scarf Instead of Hijab

It's not uncommon, as a Muslim woman who covers her hair, to get asked about that headcovering. Years ago, the standard answer to those questions was always to talk about the "hijab." For example, "It's called a hijab and it's a sign of my faith," or "Hijab is how Muslim women veil themselves," or "Hijab means for women to cover their bodies except for their faces and hands in loose non-transparent clothes."

Hijab is of course an Arabic word, and most muslimahs (Muslim women) I've met do use the word hijab, at least amongst themselves, to refer to their headcovers, even though that's not the literal or original meaning of the word. Khimar is another common Arabic word for this purpose, which has the benefit of being the word used in the Qur'an to talk about headcovers.

And I have no problem with any Muslim's or non-Muslim's use of either of these words.

However, I've found myself increasingly using the word "scarf" to talk about my own headcover, especially when talking to non-Muslims. Why?

First, it's an English word that is more natural and easy for English speakers to use. If necessary, I may say "head scarf" to distinguish from "neck scarf." Overall it makes the entire concept less intimidating, by not using a word that might be foreign to the listener. Using a word they already know, its easier for them to talk about it. I've found that some people, in trying to avoid incorrectly saying a foreign word like "hijab," they resort to other words (like "headgear") with connotations that aren't quite appropriate, or which might be confused with another concept, (like "veil," or "burka.")

Second, by using a neutral word like "scarf," in addition to being easier to talk about, the otherness of the concept can also be reduced. Of course I wear my scarf for religious reasons, and many Americans might view it as being strange because religious headcoverings are rare in our culture nowadays. Calling it "hijab" gives the impression that it's just for women "over there." It might even heighten the perception that it is a means of oppression. By using a common word to describe mine, I'm introducing it as a common and simple part of an American wardrobe. After all, isn't it likely that most Americans have at some point worn a scarf around their necks?

So instead of the hijab feared as foreign or repressive, it can more easily become a beautiful thing, not because it's exotic but because of its purpose and practicality.