Cooking baffles me. What should be a simple daily household task seems, to me, endlessly complicated, to a point where the more I learn about anything the more confused I become.
Compounding my struggles are a few issues:
(1) I never learned to cook while growing up, and what I did learn is ridiculously unhealthy.
(2) I am extremely obese and eating for my health is critically important.
(3) I converted to Islam in my 20's, which puts some restrictions on (or at least requires modification to) what I'm able to eat and cook.
(4) My husband hails from another country, which has a vastly different food culture and cuisine than the one I grew up with.
(5) I have a toddler with his own nutritional needs, who is often picky about trying new foods.
(1) To start with, I didn't cook much growing up at all, except to bake cookies--which I did once or twice a week. This is how I learned to read a (simple) recipe and to enjoy the fruit (well, cookies) of my labor. Unfortunately, one should not subsist on a diet exclusively of cookies. When it came to cooking proper food, the two basic problems were that (a) I hardly ever helped my mom cook dinner, and (b) most regular meals were halfway prepared anyway, and most are disqualified for me now for religious or health reasons.
For example, one common weeknight meal that I was capable of cooking would be a simple spaghetti with meat sauce. We would typically prepare it with ground beef, a jar of Ragu sauce, an additional can of tomatoes and tomato sauce, and spaghetti, topped with some pre-grated "Parmesan cheese" that came in a green canister. There are a few problems with this meal for me currently. First, pasta isn't something I can eat on a regular basis right now, and mostly I avoid it entirely. Second, the jar of Ragu contains additives like sugar which are bad for my health, and "natural flavorings" from beef or chicken stock which cause a religious problem. Most of the fruit and vegetables we ate came out of a can--with the notable exception of potatoes. My mom cooked potatoes many different ways, but unfortunately potatoes are another food I generally avoid for health reasons. As another example, one of my mothers signature dishes was a slow cooked BBQ pork--it was a highly popular item at potlucks but since I don't eat pork now, it's not something I can bother with now.
(2) The second problem is finding foods that are "healthy." The problem is that what qualifies as "healthy" seems to be under debate even by nutritionists. For example--eggs are good for breakfast, or no? For a while people said the cholesterol was a problem and eggs should be limited, but now more popular thinking praises eggs and tolerates saturated fat. Something like a bagel used to be considered very healthy (it seems like a lot of people still see it that way) while now many more people condemn refined flours. In my own experience, strict limitations on sugars and refined grains helps with weight management, so that's mostly what I do. I'm following a plan called the "Slow Carb Diet" which restricts grains, sugars, dairy, fruit and potatoes to one day a week, while meats, vegetables, and legumes may be eaten abundantly.
(3) Being a Muslim, the foods I eat must be halal, which affects my kitchen in a few ways: meats, alcohol, and some other miscellaneous items. As for meat, there is absolutely no pork, or pork products. And what is left (can include beef, goat, lamb, chicken and fish) must be slaughtered a particular way (except for the fish.) So I buy my meats not at a grocery store or market where I can ensure they are free-range or grass-fed, but at a halal meat shop where I first (and in some cases only) can be sure the animal was slaughtered correctly. Shopping at a small butcher kind of operation makes it harder to find some of the items I'd like to cook--for instance, steaks. As for the alcohol, that means I don't drink it or cook with it (that is, with beer, wine, sherry, or any sort of alcohol used in cooking.) That can complicate things for me, because a lot of recipes call for some sort of alcohol. And lastly, I must also avoid a whole host of supermarket products that contain alcohol or non-halal animal products. Ultimately, it forces me towards more home cooking, and from-scratch cooking.
(4 and 5) I'm also responsible for feeding my husband and son, whose needs (and tastes) aren't necessarily the same as mine. My husband is from Pakistan, and while Pakistani cuisine is delicious, its also oily, spicy, and often eaten with roti/naan (breads) or rice, which I'm avoiding. So I also need to balance that style of cooking with my own preferences and abilities. I can cook a few Pakistani dishes because I've been taught specifically how to do so. Unfortunately as I didn't grow up with this cuisine, it's difficult for me to improvise or adapt the few dishes I can cook. And toddlers are just toddlers--he likes what's familiar and easy to eat. Unfortunately, that means a lot of chicken nuggets (halal variety--not cheap) and macaroni and cheese (no way this is good for him.)
My husband has also been kind to me, in our 6 years of marriage, by not demanding any cooking at all, much less any particular cuisine. But now it's been six years, we have a 3-year-old, I desperately want to be healthier, and I want us all to enjoy home-cooking every night. It's time for me to figure out this mystery in the kitchen.
Compounding my struggles are a few issues:
(1) I never learned to cook while growing up, and what I did learn is ridiculously unhealthy.
(2) I am extremely obese and eating for my health is critically important.
(3) I converted to Islam in my 20's, which puts some restrictions on (or at least requires modification to) what I'm able to eat and cook.
(4) My husband hails from another country, which has a vastly different food culture and cuisine than the one I grew up with.
(5) I have a toddler with his own nutritional needs, who is often picky about trying new foods.
For example, one common weeknight meal that I was capable of cooking would be a simple spaghetti with meat sauce. We would typically prepare it with ground beef, a jar of Ragu sauce, an additional can of tomatoes and tomato sauce, and spaghetti, topped with some pre-grated "Parmesan cheese" that came in a green canister. There are a few problems with this meal for me currently. First, pasta isn't something I can eat on a regular basis right now, and mostly I avoid it entirely. Second, the jar of Ragu contains additives like sugar which are bad for my health, and "natural flavorings" from beef or chicken stock which cause a religious problem. Most of the fruit and vegetables we ate came out of a can--with the notable exception of potatoes. My mom cooked potatoes many different ways, but unfortunately potatoes are another food I generally avoid for health reasons. As another example, one of my mothers signature dishes was a slow cooked BBQ pork--it was a highly popular item at potlucks but since I don't eat pork now, it's not something I can bother with now.
(2) The second problem is finding foods that are "healthy." The problem is that what qualifies as "healthy" seems to be under debate even by nutritionists. For example--eggs are good for breakfast, or no? For a while people said the cholesterol was a problem and eggs should be limited, but now more popular thinking praises eggs and tolerates saturated fat. Something like a bagel used to be considered very healthy (it seems like a lot of people still see it that way) while now many more people condemn refined flours. In my own experience, strict limitations on sugars and refined grains helps with weight management, so that's mostly what I do. I'm following a plan called the "Slow Carb Diet" which restricts grains, sugars, dairy, fruit and potatoes to one day a week, while meats, vegetables, and legumes may be eaten abundantly.
(3) Being a Muslim, the foods I eat must be halal, which affects my kitchen in a few ways: meats, alcohol, and some other miscellaneous items. As for meat, there is absolutely no pork, or pork products. And what is left (can include beef, goat, lamb, chicken and fish) must be slaughtered a particular way (except for the fish.) So I buy my meats not at a grocery store or market where I can ensure they are free-range or grass-fed, but at a halal meat shop where I first (and in some cases only) can be sure the animal was slaughtered correctly. Shopping at a small butcher kind of operation makes it harder to find some of the items I'd like to cook--for instance, steaks. As for the alcohol, that means I don't drink it or cook with it (that is, with beer, wine, sherry, or any sort of alcohol used in cooking.) That can complicate things for me, because a lot of recipes call for some sort of alcohol. And lastly, I must also avoid a whole host of supermarket products that contain alcohol or non-halal animal products. Ultimately, it forces me towards more home cooking, and from-scratch cooking.
(4 and 5) I'm also responsible for feeding my husband and son, whose needs (and tastes) aren't necessarily the same as mine. My husband is from Pakistan, and while Pakistani cuisine is delicious, its also oily, spicy, and often eaten with roti/naan (breads) or rice, which I'm avoiding. So I also need to balance that style of cooking with my own preferences and abilities. I can cook a few Pakistani dishes because I've been taught specifically how to do so. Unfortunately as I didn't grow up with this cuisine, it's difficult for me to improvise or adapt the few dishes I can cook. And toddlers are just toddlers--he likes what's familiar and easy to eat. Unfortunately, that means a lot of chicken nuggets (halal variety--not cheap) and macaroni and cheese (no way this is good for him.)
My husband has also been kind to me, in our 6 years of marriage, by not demanding any cooking at all, much less any particular cuisine. But now it's been six years, we have a 3-year-old, I desperately want to be healthier, and I want us all to enjoy home-cooking every night. It's time for me to figure out this mystery in the kitchen.
